Its been raining for days, and now it’s overcast, gloomy, and I’m BORED out of my freakin’ mind! There’s a series of books called “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” that makes for good reading when you’re sitting down doing nothing but . . . well, you know. Anyways, I was thumbing through it (again) and came across some interesting quotes that I wanted to share, so here goes:Groucho Marx, 1890-1977
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for the jury.”
“Remember men, we’re fighting for this woman’s honor- which is probably more than she ever did.”
“If I held you any closer, I’d be on the other side of you.”
“Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.”
“From the moment I picked up your book and laid it down I was convulsing with laughter. Someday I intend to read it.”
“The husband who wants a perfect marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open”
“Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know Jonah? He used to live in Wales for a while.”
“Blood’s not thicker than money.”
“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
“The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too hard to read.”
“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”
“Well, I hardly know where to begin. I hardly know when to stop, either; just give me a few drinks and see for yourself.”
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