Happy Halloweenie . . . Entry for October 31, 2006

I hope everyone’s Halloween is as fun as the party I went to in Louisville this past weekend. I went as a cross-dressing Boy Scout, since my Devil costume left red makeup everyone I came in contact with last time, lol. I got there a little late, but quickly consumed massive quantities of Long Island Lemonade (Tequila, Gin, Vodka, Rum, lemonade and 7up) and was feeling no pain and in the mood!

I kissed a lot of boobies again, lol, and got nasty on the dance floor with as many women as I could. I was asked by my hosts if I would volunteer to be a naked fruit bowl, and my crazy ass said "Why the hell not?" They moved a long table covered with plastic on the dance floor and held up a blanket so no one could see, and I stripped down naked and laid my bare ass down.

Then they commenced to spray whipped cream all over me, and applied fruit all over my body. I was pretty loaded and laughing my ass off as grapes, fruit cocktail, mandarin oranges and other assorted fruits (except a banana damnit! lol) was spread all over me, slipping and sliding. Then the blanket was lowered and I was served to everyone who wanted a taste.

I kept my eyes closed as lips and hands touched, tasted and licked me, it felt delicious! At one point someone sucked on my toes and I nearly came right then and there! Then one brave soul asked if me could move the fruit around and I told him "Go for it" and laughed. He scooped the fruit salad from between my thighs and started nibbling.

He asked if I had to stay still or could he move my legs and again I said "Sure!" He pulled my thighs apart and started eating my pussy eagerly. I was aware of being watched by all those people, but had no idea what I looked like covered in whip cream and fruit, but I will admit, it was a turn on! I gasped and moaned as my mystery eater inserted fingers in my soaking wet pussy as he sucked my clit.

OMG, it felt so fucking good and I hadn’t had my pussy eaten and quite a while, so I was diggin’ the hell outta it! He finished his desert and nibbled a little on my nipples before kissing me and saying thank you. I laughed and said "No, thank YOU!" and got up off the table with a little help from my friends. It was a good idea that I had put my ponytails in Shirley Temple curls, because I was a gooey mess and was able to keep my hair out of it.

I walked carefully off the dance floor and into the back room where there was a big sink. My "taste tester" buddy was already there washing the whip cream off his face, hands and glasses. I thanked him again and he offered to help wash all the goop off of me. So I stood there holding my ponytails above my head while he washed me down from head to toe. Mmmm, that felt pretty good too and made me even hornier.

"When was the last time someone gave you a bath?" he asked me. "A verrry long time" I replied as I bent over, with my ass up in the air so he could get to every nook and cranny (and my fanny!). He wanted to eat me out again, right there at the sink, but I really wanted to get the stuff off my skin. Turning around so he could get to my feet to clean them off, he sucked on my toes again.

I almost lost my balance and fell down it made me so hot, but I rebalanced myself. Finally all wiped down I kissed and thanked him again and went into the bathroom to finish the job with the baby wipes I had brought with me. I always bring some to these kind of parties in my little backpack, along with some naughty clothes (and my toys) to change into.

When I was in the bathroom this one chick, "N", came in. She was pretty toasted too and we had been playing with each other and kissing off and on all night. I even flirted with her hubby when I was dirty dancing at one point, but I didn’t know they were together at that time. I told her she looked pretty tasty and asked her "May I?" as I pulled her camisole top down, revealing a pierced nipple.

I started licking and sucking on her nipple ring and damn if my pussy didn’t get soaked all over again as she played with my titties too! We kissed deeply and left the bathroom to party more on the dance floor. I DJ’d for a little while, playing music that I could really get nasty to, and shook my ass all over the dance floor.

There was this one little witch lady I had kissed and played with several times that I started dancing with again, and playing with her titties and ass. I think the song was by Prince, but whatever it was, it made me drop to my knees and start licking her pussy right there on the dance floor for everyone to see. Mmmm, she tasted nice and sweet as my tongue lashed out at her clit, making it swell up even more.

I looked up at her face as I lapped up her pussy juices and inserted my fingers and quickly found her g-spot. She quivered and quaked as I stroked and poked that pussy into orgasm, not missing a drop that spilled onto my tongue. I stood up with a big shit-eatin’ grin and kissed her, sharing the taste of her pussy in both of our mouths and she was a happy girl too! I hugged and thanked her and went to get yet another drink.

It was getting pretty late as I wandered into one of the private rooms and started talking to this one guy, and let him know I was only there for the pussy, when "N" wandered in. I was sitting in a plush chair shaped like a high-heel shoe, and she got on the floor in front of me and started licking my pussy. I reached into my little bag of tricks and pulled out "Ruffles" my favorite acrylic dildo and handed it to her.

Ahhh "Ruffles has ridges" and really makes me cream, and she went to work on my throbbing pussy. A few minutes later the guy I had lap danced earlier walks in and that’s when I found out it was her hubby. I laughed about it and told "N" it was her turn now, and stood up, pulled her pants down, and we traded places while her husband watched us play.

I could tell she really was really horny by that time, he pussy was delectably soaked as my tongue hit her clit. She threw her head back and moaned as I tested her pussy trying to find just the right spot. She came in my mouth and I sucked her cum up wanting even more. I backed my tongue off a bit as I slowly slid two fingers in and felt her pussy tighten up and saw her arch her back.

There was the spot, and I was going for it. I could just imagine how hard her husband’s cock must have been, but he was cool with just watching us play. But I could tell from the look in his eyes that she was gonna get the hell fucked out of her later on that night! I curved my fingers up hitting her g-spot and made her moan and cum again.

I took my fingers out of her pulsing wet hole and had her lick them as I reached behind me for my other acrylic dildo I call "The purple pussy pleaser". It’s not shaped like a cock, but smooth and round, with the last 3 inches or so tapered and curved up with little ridges that massage the g-spot (or prostate for that matter, hehehe). I lowered my head to her waiting pussy again to suck those luscious lips and slipped the toy in.

She came almost immediately as I angled it up just right. I know I was grinning and all of a sudden felt someone behind me, but I know it wasn’t her hubby, cause I could still see him next to me, watching me pleasure his wife. Several people had wandered into the room, and I quickly realized it was my fruit salad buddy from earlier, playing lightly with my pussy as I fucked "N" with my toy.

My pussy came on his fingers as I fucked and licked her harder and faster as she exploded again on my face. It was sooooo fuckin’ hot!!! Finally I had to come up for air and hugged, kissed and thanked her for the awesome time. It was then that I realized people were leaving cause it was after 2am and time to go! Damn, see how time flies just when you’re having fun?

Thanks go to Steel Cowboy most of these slide show pics, hope y’all enjoy em. And if you use them as costume ideas, I’d appreciate a pic in return just because I’m a perv, hehehe.

Kisses and Happy Halloweenie!

Ghost Dreams . . . Entry for October 27, 2006

This is the time of year when stories of hauntings and ghosts abound. I'm sure that at least 25% of the people reading this have their own strange tales to tell. I'm no exception, though now as of last night, I have several tales.

My first "ghost story" happened when I was 10 years old. My Mother even remembers it well and tells this story too. My parents had been divorced since I was six, but my mother would take us every now and then to see my paternal grandfather, who was in failing health. We had planned on going to visit him one Sunday, but something came up and we changed our plans to the following Sunday. My Mother has always said I was his favorite, I guess cause I was the youngest and I found his conversations interesting.

In his youth, he had played horns with the big band leader Carmen Dragon, who was the father of "The Captain" Daryl Dragon of "The Captain and Tenille". He was also an artist, and he painted this one picture of a big desert rock, kind of like a Mesa, that would shift colors depending where you stood looking at it. It was really cool. I used to like listening to his stories and sitting next to him on the piano bench when he played the organ and taught me how to play "Chopsticks".

The Saturday night before our planned visit, I remember waking up in the middle of the night finding my Grandpa sitting at the foot of my bunk bed. I sat up and talked to him for a little while, still drowsy since I had just woken up (or I was still dreaming?). It was dark in the room, but I could seem him clearly, sitting there at my feet, and for some reason I remember a kind of diffused blue light. I couldn't recall all that he said, but I do remember him telling me goodbye (and probably telling me to be good too, lol).

The next morning while we were getting ready to go visit him, I was standing at the sink washing up the breakfast dishes. I can't remember exactly why, but my mind started dwelling on thoughts of death and I kind of started freaking out about it. This wasn't the first time I'd done this as a child, and I think it has something to do with my Catholic upbringing and this children's picture bible we had as kids. There were really evil, scary pictures of hell in it (shudder!).

My Mom was sitting at the table when I started crying and saying, "I don't want to die!" She thought I was saying I didn't want her to die, and tried to comfort me, saying she wasn’t going to die for a long time. But I tried to explain to her that wasn't what I was afraid of. I was frightened about the nothingness after death, and that it scared me shitless (well, I didn't say shitless at 10, lol). I told her about the “dream” I had the night before and talking to Grandpa and how he's so old and sick now.

She was still trying to calm me down and talk rationally about death, when the phone rang. It was my Dad letting us know that my Grandpa had passed away during the night. A couple days later, we drove the hour-long trip to go see his body. There really wasn't going to be a funeral since he was going to be cremated, just a viewing. They took us into this one room (the crematorium!) and there was this very large cardboard box on a stainless steel table. They lifted the lid off partway so we could see his face and shoulders, and there my Grandpa was.

You would think they would have had the decency to at least put a shirt on him or something, but I guess since they were getting ready to put him in the oven (I know that sounds morbid, but I was 10!) they figured why bother. I looked at him, and it was awful! No one should subject a child to that. I knew that that really wasn’t him though, only his shell. He was already gone and had got to say his last goodbyes to me. But seeing his corpse like that really hurt me a lot.

My second tale happened around 6 years ago, about this same time of year. My children and me were staying at my ex-husbands house, along with my ex boyfriend Steve. It was a 2-story ranch house that was built by the original owner on the shores of Rough River Lake here in Kentucky. One day while my boyfriend and one of my sons were upstairs watching TV, I was downstairs with my other two sons preparing dinner.

I was at the stove tending to a boiling pot of water while my sons were on their hands and knees searching the kitchen cabinets to the right of me for some pasta. I went over to help them look when all of a sudden the kitchen faucet turned on. Not a little “drip drip drip” mind you, but a steady stream of water. All three of us turned around to see who had came down because none of us had heard anyone walking down the open staircase, but there was nobody there.

I looked at them and they looked at me as I turned off the water and we all went upstairs together. My son was right where we had left him, in the middle of a video game and my boyfriend was sleeping. I asked him anyway if he had came down and turned on the water, even though I knew there was no way he could have done it without being seen or heard, and of course he said no.

All three of us were creeped out by that time, but went back down to finish cooking the spaghetti anyway. Every now and then we would take turns looking at the sink trying to think of a rational explanation as to why the water turned itself on, but we couldn't come up one. A month or so later I was talking to this little old lady who lived down the road and mentioned the mysterious faucet story.

That's when I found out that the old man who had built the house all by himself, had died inside the house in his recliner while his wife was away. He had been dead a little while before they eventually found the body. His wife remained in the house for a while but it got to be too much for the elderly woman to keep up with and she sold the house to my ex-husband (Insert twilight zone theme music here).

My third story happened last night, while I was sleeping. I used to have a friend named Kenny Simpson, who was the brother of one of my best friends when I was in Junior High school. Years later in my late teens, Kenny and me hooked up and started fucking. It surprised me that he had such a big thick dick for such a short guy (he was 5'5" tops), and he could eat pussy good too!

We were pretty good friends and became fuck buddies on and off for a brief period of time, and the sex was always hot! I moved to San Francisco several months later and not long after that I lost touch with him. Years later I found out that Kenny had gotten shot and killed by his older sister's ex while he was trying to break up their fight ("You bastard!" yea, I’m a south Park fan).

As they say, death comes in 3's and 2 other people I knew also died later that year, much to my dismay. I hadn't thought about Kenny in a long time, but one of the things I remember the most (other than the hot sex) was he was also an avid fan of "All My Children" (a soap opera). If I ever missed a day’s show, I could always call him up and find out what happened.

I don't know if it's because I've been talking to Steve again (he was one of Kenny's best friends), but last night I think Kenny's spirit visited me in a dream. I have been really horny and yearning to get laid, but I want someone to fuck me who cares about me, you know what I mean? It feels so empty afterwards, sex with no feelings. I'm not talking about sex with women though, I always have feelings when I'm making love to a woman.

Well, Kenny must have known how depressed I've been about it, and visited me last night to help me out of my funk. I've had a lot of sex dreams in my lifetime, but they've always been about real live people, and never dead ones (OK, Clark Gable doesn't count, lol). Also they usually end without fulfillment, but this “dream” was definitely the exception to the rule.

I don't remember how it started out, but all of a sudden Kenny was there with me in my bedroom, with lust in his eyes and hands all over my body. Our clothes disappeared and his lips seemed to be everywhere on me at once, burning me deliciously wherever they touched. He lowered his head and spread my pussy lips and started licking away. Oh, it felt sooo good!

This is usually the point in my dreams where I wake up and go "Awww, man!" and grab for my toys, but not this time. I felt like he wanted me to squirt in his mouth and he didn't stop eating my pussy until I finally did. He grinned at me, and I can still see the look in his eyes and picture his thick and throbbing cock. He was ready for me! He pulled my legs up and apart and rubbed his hard dick all over my soaking wet pussy.

I put my ankles on his shoulders and raised my hips to meet his ready cock. He slipped it in, inch by inch while I felt him stretch my pussy wider. I could feel myself getting ready to cum again before he even was all the way in and I saw him grin. Shoving it suddenly deep and hard, I exploded around his cock, my juices running down my ass cheeks and onto the sheets.

Grabbing my ankles as I moaned louder, he punished my pussy with each thrust, making me cum and cum and cum again. Smiling at me from above, he gave me this look like "Are you ready for this now?" but never once said a word. I arched my back, shoving my pussy deeper onto his cock as my silent answer, and I felt him flood his cum deep inside me as my pussy clenched in it's own waves of orgasm.

Smiling at me, he released my legs, and I smiled back, thoroughly satisfied. I closed my eyes once again and reveled in the feeling of satisfaction running throughout my body as I drifted back off into another area dreamland. When I finally woke and got up in the morning, I remembered the dream (or was it?) with a grin. Thanks Kenny, I needed that.

It’s not just leaves that are falling . . . Entry for October 24, 2006

Thanks go to Rex and my Dad for sending me the cool pumpkin pix. Well, It’s not just leaves that are falling this time of year, I’m starting to fall too. Remember my “Old Loves” post from last week? Well, I’ve talked to my ex, Steve, several times since then. Our old love is still there, strong as ever and we’ve started talking about him moving here to Kentucky (again). He still wants me to marry him believe it or not! I told him that would be kind of difficult, since I’m STILL married.

He got a little upset at that, because he forgot about that little obstacle. I also reminded him that if he hadn’t turned me down in the first place when I asked him to marry me in the summer of ‘99, I would have never married that asshole of an abusive husband a few months later in October. Ron Arterburn, where are you so I can get my divorce?!?!

Steve told me he really has GOT to get out of Oakland, and that he still wants and needs me. And lets face it, I want and need him too! I’m so tired of being alone and feeling so empty after having sex with guys I don’t really care about (which isn’t all that often anyways). We discussed what I felt was our “sexual differences” were and the fact that I’m not going to stop lusting after women. He told me that he’s changed, and that doesn’t bother him now and is more open to sexual experimentation these days.

BUT (and there’s always a but, lol) a couple of the times we talked, he had been drinking. There’s no way he can ever deny it, I can always tell from his attitude. He says he wants to quit drinking, and really needs to get away from all the bullshit and bad influences he’s got in his life right now. I could relate completely with what he was saying. Those were the exact same reasons I left Oakland, Calif. in the first place and came back to Kentucky myself.

So I told him yes, he could come live with us (he loves my kids and they like him a lot too), but I wanted him to call me and we’d talk about it when he was sober. That’s a great new song by Evanescence btw:

“Call me when you’re sober”

Don’t cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me
Come find me
Make up your mind

Should’ve let you fall
Lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself
Can’t keep believing we’re only deceiving ourselves
And I’m sick of the lies
And you’re too late

Don’t cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Couldn’t take the blame
Sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated no wonder you’re jaded
You can’t play the victim this time
And you're too late

So, don’t cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You love me, come find me
Make up your mind

You never call me when you’re sober
You only want it cause it’s over
It’s over

How could I
Have burned paradise
How could I
You were never mine

So, don’t cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
Don’t lie to me
Just get your things
I’ve made up your mind

Well I called him at work today back in sunny California, cause I haven’t talked to him in several days and I wanted to know what was going on. He had told me before that it would take him 5 weeks to get his shit together and move out here, and I really need to know if he’s serious. I asked him to give me a time when he was going to call so I could be offline, so tonight after 11pm, I should know something more definite.

On a more pervy note, I wasn’t exactly a “pussy slut” at the party I went to in Indiana this past weekend, but I did get to kiss a lot of lips and titties too, hehehe. I had to wipe my red devil makeup off faces quite a few times that evening, lol. It was getting to be almost 2am so I gathered up my things and was getting ready to leave when I noticed this hot witch getting her pussy and titties played with by this one guy. I couldn’t help myself, I wanted to dive right in!

I had met her online before and we had chatted throughout the evening. But I’m usually a social butterfly at these types of parties and don’t stay in one spot too long. One of the first things I noticed about her, was her bling bling nipple rings, they really caught my eye! Then I saw the look of pleasure on her face and I dropped what I was holding. I knelt in front of her and spreading her thighs wider, I had to get a taste!

She was shaved smooth and much to my pleasant surprise, her clit was pierced too! Or it might have been her hood, my tongue was too busy to tell, lol. I just love eating out women, and it’s especially hot when there is a guy holding and her digging it too! He played with her tits, sucking those hot nipples as I explored her with my mouth.

I was lickin’ and flickin’ her clit back and forth with my tongue and looked up at her pretty face as I inserted two fingers inside her hot juicy pussy. The look she had when she threw her head back and moaned made me soak my g-string under my tights and shorts. I started fucking her with my fingers and sucking on that hard little clit when I felt someone behind me playing with my ass that was stuck up in the air.

I didn’t know who it was but didn’t really care, I was too busy drinking in her juices. I fingered her faster and deeper as someone slipped their hand down the back of my tights, trying to get to my pussy. The mystery person partially succeeded, but I was too busy trying to pleasure her to take the time to remove my own clothes. I wasn’t interested in my own pleasure, I just wanted to make her cum and cum!

I’m not sure how long I was there tasting her luscious pussy, but I hope I made her cum several times before I had to finally come up for air. That’s when I noticed I had gotten my red devil makeup all over her pussy and thighs and we all laughed about it. I kissed her goodbye and thanked her for such a tasty treat, and went home. When I got in bed, I took out my toys and had a soaking wet orgasm while closing my eyes and reliving eating her luscious pussy, YUM!

Official Slut Week (part II) . . . Entry for October 20, 2006

Continuing on with our "Slut Week" agenda, JD stopped by to smoke a bowl with me yesterday (see here

, here and here for those who don’t know who JD is). As usual when I’m at home, I was barely dressed wearing only my ex boyfriends old black terry cloth robe. lost the belt to ages ago but I didn’t try to close it, I mean for real, JD’s seen me naked countless times before, lol.

I hadn’t seen JD in weeks really. I had kinda lost interest in him since my sexual needs were being met elsewhere, and he took his sweet-ass time paying my sons for doing some work for him. Needless to say he wasn’t on my most-wanted list. And not to mention the fact that he’s still married and since last time we shared a little bodily fluids, he and his family moved right up the hill from where I live! A little too close for my comfort anyways, if you want to know the truth.

When he came in through the back door like he was sneaking, I had to laugh. "I hope to hell your wife doesn’t have binoculars to see down here" I told him. He laughed too and sat down in the living room and handed me his pipe, perving my exposed flesh in the process. "Damn girl you make me hard" he said and grabbed hi bulging cock through his pants "I’m all backed up, I need some release!"

"What’s the matter?" I teased, "Ain’t your wife giving you none?" "Yea, but it’s not the same thing" he laughed. We sat there for a bit bullshitting with each other as I got high. What is it about smoking weed that makes me so fucking horny? I don’t know, but I’d wish they’d bottle it and make it legal. He told me he had missed making my pussy squirt and asked me where my toys were.

I really needed a shower and told him so. I felt sweaty and smelled like stale sex from masturbating on cam in The Pussy Café (my chatroom) AWC

the night before, but he didn’t care. He pulled out his raging 9 inch hard on grinning, and said "C’mon, where are your toys?" I got up and said "In here" and walked into the bedroom with JD following me in there like a little puppy at suppertime.

I was buzzed and couldn’t remember where the hell I had put my toys, lol. "It’s ok, I came good yesterday" I told him, "but I really want to take pics of me sucking your cock." He said "No problem, just no pictures of my face." That was cool with me, so I turned my webcam on and started sucking his thick, juicy dick. "Wow" he kept repeating while watching his cock fuck my mouth on cam.

I was getting pretty turned on myself, watching my mouth attempting to swallow his cock whole. He asked me if I was going to swallow it, "No" I replied "I want to see you cum on my tits!" All too soon I felt his body tense and tasted his precum. He grabbed his dick and stroked it while I licked the shaft with my tongue using quick little flicks. He shot his load out all over my titties and it even dripped down to my belly.

Now why is it that being slutty doesn’t feel so bad? Hehehe, I can’t wait till the party on Saturday, I’m gonna be such a pussy slut, I’ve got a real taste for it this week (wink).

EDITORS NOTE (hehehe, I like saying that): I was checking out my friends’ 360 updates and came across this AP article about a guy who committed suicide in New Orleans

and left a note directing police to the dismembered body of his girlfriend. They interviewed one of the daytime bartender’s at Buffa’s, the place I hung out when I was in New Orleans a couple weeks ago. I wonder if that guy was in the bar when I was?

Official Slut Week announced (part I) . . . Entry for October 19, 2006

Ohio County, KY . . . It’s official, this week has been locally designated "Slut Week" by a certain Yours Truly. Rumors have been flying about the nature of the events going on during its premiere kickoff week, but we hear there were orgasms had in celebration of this monumental event. This just in . . . the reports of a wild Halloween party extravaganza this Saturday night have been confirmed. Yes no more speculation, the swingers will be in full swing!

Techy was naughty these past couple days, and she needs to be spanked, lol! It all started a couple days ago when I went to see Bubby (see here , here and here) when I was in town getting things for my Halloween costume (yeah, I got the red liquid latex!). His divorce is not going well, and his back is really fucked up now from his past surgery and I feel so sorry for him. I told him I could use some of his anti-anxiety uh, vitamins and I knew he could use a little cash (I want to make sure I’m as relaxed as I can be for this party on Saturday).

He came over yesterday morning to pick up the money after trying to call and getting nothing but a busy signal while I was online. We got a little stoned in my living room and I kinda threw it out there that I would happily give him a blowjob, lol (he loves my Altoids trick). I knew the last time he had any sex at all was months ago with me, and I felt like at least I could make him happy for a few minutes, he seemed so depressed.

He thanked me but declined for the moment cause he had some things to do, and told me to meet him over his brother’s house to pick my vitamins up in a couple hours. There’s a whole part here that I’m skipping about how on the way to his brother’s house I helped catch and lead home a beautiful filly colt (bred from a Kentucky Derby winner) that was running loose out in the road. Oh wait, that kinda covers it, lol.

When I finally got there, we sat down and he goes "You got to look at this, this is the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen!" and proceeded to turn the DVD player on to a porn film that was paused mid stroke. He un-paused it and I watched this dude with a pretty big fucking dick, fuck this chick in the ass that had a GAPING hole! I laughed, cause I knew right then how that visit was going to be ending. He was right, she would never have a problem taking a shit, roflmao!

I asked him if his meds were effecting his hard on ability, and he said he didn’t know he hadn’t really had the opportunity to check it out. Well that sounded like a challenge to me, and long time readers will remember that I never did get his "cum in someone’s mouth" cherry, so Techy went to work, hehehe. "Well let me check to make sure" I told him while groping up the leg of his loose shorts, only to find he was wearing his "tidy whiteys" underneath. "Oh no fair" I bitched, "these have GOT to come off!" and Bubby removed em real quick, lol.

Since his back is so fucked up I had him lay down on the couch so the strain would be less while I tried to add yet another cherry to my collection. Nope, the meds he was taking didn’t affect his hard cock one bit! Hmmm, I opened wide and swallowed that dick whole, in one gulp while he started playing with my titties, and asked me to lift my shirt so he could suck on them.

Damn my crotch was getting wet, but I really was only gonna give him a blow job. That was until he pulled the drawstring on my black velour pants and slipped his hand down the front of my cotton panties (grin). Bubby never was one for much foreplay, but this time I guess he was in the mood. Pretty soon I was taking off my teal velvet shirt, and as an after thought, I took off my pants too.

I thought "Oh what the fuck, why not?" and moved my pussy over so he could get a better hand on it and started moaning on his cock stuffed in my face. I fucked his cock with my mouth, while he fingered me deeper and wetter. That was all she wrote, "I wanna fuck!" I giggled at him groping for a rubber. I was soon straddling his waiting cock, sticking my tits in his face. I grabbed the extra cushions, and threw em off the couch so we would have more room, and lowered my dripping pussy over his cock.

His mouth gasped as I clamped down on his dick and SQUEEZED tight (I’ve got great muscle control, hehehe). I leaned forward sliding back and forth on his rock-like cock, sticking my tits in his face, guiding both nipples into his mouth at once. Damn I just love the way that feels! Pussy still tight on his cock, I raised slightly off my knees and onto my feet and keeping his cock inside me the whole time (it’s a plus being short sometimes, lol).

I started riding him, up and down, slamming my pussy on his dick deeep, squirting so much that my pussy juices were running all down to his balls. I felt their dampness when I reached behind me and started playing with them as I came on his thrusting cock. I was pounding him into the couch and was afraid I’d hurt his back even more, so I told him to fuck me from behind. Hehehe, I also knew he loved looking at my ass from behind while his cock fucked my pussy.

Bent over on the couch, he slid his dick slowly in my soaking wet hole, both of us moaning as it went in. I reached under me and started tickling my clit, and felt my pussy instantly spasm and the juices start dripping down the shaft. Fuuuck, it felt so good! His now wet balls slapped my even wetter clit and I could hear, feel and smell our sex . . . mmmm, that made me even hotter. I shoved my ass back, matching him thrust for thrust, I rhythmically contracted/expanded my pussy muscles, fucking him twice with every stroke, and he was diggin’ the hell outta it!

The faster he fucked me, the harder I stoked my hard, fat little clit, my moans screamed into the couch pillows beneath me. He pumped fassster and deeeper and HARDER when I told him too, and with one final cock-clenching squeeze, his eyes rolled back and came and came and came. I could feel is cock twitching in my pussy with his spurts. As it throbbed, I squeezed his declining hard on again and again, until finally I collapsed face down on the couch, out of breath.

I heard him gasp in pain and turned to watch him while he stumbled to the bathroom to clean up his mess. When came back into the room, I noticed he couldn’t even straighten out his back as he walked. I took my turn in the bathroom to freshen up and asked "Oh man, did I fuck up your back? I’m so sorry!" He just kinda laughed it off and told me "Don’t worry about it, it was well worth it."

Well that was yesterday, and today . . . oops, will you look at the time? More later (grin).

Old loves . . . Entry for October 16, 200

Yesterday I called an old ex of mine, Steve, after seeing that user name on someone’s 360 page. Steve was my first lover, though he wasn’t my boyfriend. I was a runaway hanging out at a girlfriend’s house (he was just hanging there) and we both got busted hiding inside her closet after her Dad got home. He was 16 and went to High School with my older sister and I was only 13, still in Junior High.

When my friend’s Dad busted us, I had no where to go, so Steve told me I could crash at his place. Steve is average height, blond hair, blue eys, good looking and has this kinda deep, slightly gravelly voice that’s so sexy (and an above average dick!). To make a long story short, I lost my virginity that night, and gave my first blowjob. I fell instantly in love with him (of course), and wrote my very first love poem to him later that year when I was locked up in Juvenile Hall (that’s another story for my book, lol).

This is the only one of my poems I have ever memorized:

Long ago and far away
I used to frown
At the thought
Of falling in love
It really got me down

But now it’s happened to me
And I’m not so sad
Cause I found out
That falling in love
Really isn't that bad

It wouldn’t work out
I know that now
You go your way
I ‘ll go mine
We’ll see each other again somehow

Time so short
Eternity how long
Someone, long ago
Once said

Love is forever
It’ll still live on
Long after
We are dead

Not too bad for 13 year old juvenile delinquent, even it I do say so myself ;)

Throughout the years we’ve seen each other and lived together a few times, one time he even came to Kentucky to live with us. My youngest son is also named after him, I wanted to name my last child after my first lover, lol. The one main problem that has kept our relationship from being "Happily Ever After", is the fact that he’s an alcoholic.

He’s one of those types of drunks whose personality completely changes when he drinks and I can’t stand the person he becomes. That’s just not the "My Steve" I know and love, and he knows this. He’s tried quitting before, and even went to an alcohol rehab center while we were living together one time. We were serious about working things out between us, but unfortunately the lessons he learned never did stick.

His parents have had the same phone number for over 30 years, and occasionally thoughts of him cross my mind, and I’ll call and see if he’s there. The last time I talked to Steve was probably six months or so ago, when he asked me to marry him (!!!). Of course I said no, he was drunk, also there it the situation with the other little problem with our relationship that hasn’t changed, Sexual Compatibility.

He’s got a really, REALLY nice cock, and it kinda surprised me when got together 20 odd years later that my tight little virgin pussy took all of that (and wanted more, I admit, lol)! Erectile Dysfunction was never a problem either, even with his drinking. The problem was he liked just plain vanilla ordinary sex, and I liked it Habanero hot! I’ve never seen him look at porn, he doesn’t like to use toys on me, I even asked him to restrain me in this strap device one time and he declined.

It was so hard for me to ask him to do that, and then to be turned down instead of turned on? I knew it was finally over the last time when I went out of town and ended up fucking around on him. As soon as I came back I told him he had to leave, that we just weren’t sexually compatible. I wasn’t satisfied and I was tired of it, and his drinking. He left, and we didn’t speak for a couple years. He called me when my boyfriend was still living with me, and hadn’t been able to touch base with him until early this year.

When he proposed to me the last time I talked to him, I was in total shock! I will love this man for the rest of my life, but after being with a few alcoholics and/or substance abusers and knowing the difficulties I had with him sexually, I wasn’t going to settle for less ever again. There was a time when I would have leap lightning quick at the chance to be his wife, but I’m older and wiser now, though lonelier (sigh).

So yesterday when thoughts of him crossed my mind and I grabbed for the phone, he was there at his parents’ house. He was sober and sounded great! He told me he had been thinking about me the other day, and we laughed because we’ve done this so many times to each other over the years, think of each other then call. There’s a deep, internal connection there that both of us acknowledge.

After catching up for about half an hour, (and listening to him call me "Babe" and making my heart melt, lol) we got off the phone. I gave him both my phone numbers, and told him my cell doesn’t get a signal down here, but if I was on the internet (more likely than not) he could leave a message if he really wanted to get in touch with me. I laid there on my bed reminiscing about all the good times we used to have, the love we shared, and I know I must’ve worn a silly smile on my face, but it felt so good to hear my name on his tongue again.

This morning I noticed I had a missed call message displayed on my cell phone, but I didn’t recognize the number. I walked outside in the rain in order to get a signal, and listened to my voice mail, it was from Steve (yay!). He left it the day before and said wasn’t at home, but he just "wanted to get back to me" and that he’d call me tomorrow (today!). The tone I heard in his recorded voice was the same one that I had been hearing and echoing in my head ever since we got off the phone; that of old love.

(Heavy Sigh) The dreams I had of him 30 years ago have never dimmed; he will forever be that Golden Shining Knight that thoroughly ravished me sexually, introducing me to my woman hood, underneath the blankets in his boyhood bedroom. The sexual differences that we have, I might be able to overcome (by bringing him over to the dark side, BWAHHH HAAA HAAA), but the alcoholism, no way.

As I sit here, thinking about all this (OK, OK and waiting for his call, lol), I wondered how many of you have had those old loves reappear into your lives and did you ever have a "Happily Ever After" . . .

Things my Mother will never understand . . . Entry for October 15, 2006

I called my Mom today (she still lives in Oakland, CA) to say hi and shoot the shit for a while, find out how my daughter and granddaughter are doing, and catch up on the family news. During the conversation I told her I’d quit working for the Black Box contracting company because they didn’t want to pay me for round trip travel (most jobs were over 1.5 hrs away). I said I’d take any job that would help me out with Christmas, but I couldn’t do one that required me to stand in the same spot for hours due to problems with my back.

She said it was because of my size and that’s when she got on a tirade about my being overweight. My mother is this tough little black haired Mexican lady (68 but can pass for 50’s) 4ft 10in and weighs maybe 115lbs, which is good for her, she has a small frame. I tried to explain that my back problems had nothing to do with my weight, that scoliosis and pregnancy with 3 epidurals in my back pretty much did me in. Then she asked me how much I weighed now.

Of course I lied to her (my bad) and told her 165lbs. I’m not sure really how much I weigh though, I threw out that lying bathroom scale a while back, lol. After that our conversation consisted mostly of me holding the phone away from my head and up to the ceiling while she ranted and raved. I’d lower it every now and then, hear her spewing more bullshit theories about weight, blah blah blah, and hold it back away from my ear, every now and then I would make some non-committal sound like I was really listening. My boys saw me doing this and almost laughed out loud. I love my Mom dearly, but she is such a bitch!

In all honesty, I’m a size 16, 5ft tall and weigh probably close to 180lbs, but I don’t "look it", whatever that is supposed to mean. I’ve been skinny before, in my heavy drug daze, and once when I was 19 got down to a little girls size 14 (size 0 in today’s terms) after staying up for 3 weeks straight. I lost almost all my boobs, and just looked (and was) unhealthy, though my Mom would have given me a high five for losing the weight had I been on speaking terms with her back then.

I tried to tell her that I look good for my size, that everyone tells me I don’t look like I’m in my 40’s. "Its because the fat fills out the wrinkles!" she said, then she started in with the health issues, diabetes, cholesterol, etc. I told her that I had a physical 4 months ago and the Dr. said everything was fine. Then she mentioned my daughter had shrunk down to 125lbs but she still needed to lose more off her hips and ass, blah blah blah. .

My daughter is 5ft 2in and probably weighed around 200lbs when she started losing weight by modifying her eating habits and not really dieting and did a really great job! Finally I just couldn’t take it anymore and told her the pancakes and bacon I had been cooking for our breakfast was done and I needed to go, but then she started in on the bacon grease I was saving for cooking beans! I let her get in the last word (like a dutiful daughter) and hung up the phone.

One of her favorite stories whenever being overweight is discussed was one time she went to a Dr.’s appointment (like 40yrs ago!) and he told her she would always be overweight or some bullshit like that, so she’s always watched her diet. I’ve tried to tell her "Well good for you Mom, but I’m not you!" but she doesn’t listen. I don’t think she understands how people could like curves on a plush body, that not everyone’s ideal woman is a size 3,5,7 or 9 even.

Conversations like this just bum me out, but it does little to make me want to diet. Would I look better thinner? Oh hell fucking yea! But I like who I am right now. I like the way I look and feel (I would like to be more fit though) and if that changes, I might consider going on a diet regime. But until then, I’m happy and healthy and will keep on eating my pancakes with bacon, and saving the bacon grease for a tasty pot of beans later (why don’t you use olive oil Mom says, HA!)

What happens in NOLA (part 2) . . . Entry for October 13, 2006

. . . So there I was, waking up several hours later in the Dog Park, with a great big Great Dane nuzzling my feet. His nose tickled and I have very sensitive feet (I can almost cum from having my toes sucked on, mmmm). Have you ever waked up the next morning from an all night drinking spree and just kinda go "What the fuck?" This was one of those mornings. I sat up a little bit and checked to see if all my belongings still belonged to me, (they did, lol) so I was cool.

I got my phone out to check the time and it was after 9am and the park was quite busy with Sunday morning dog walkers. Apparently the Great Dane is a popular breed in the French Quarter, lol, which I have to laugh at considering there is a lot of "doggie porn" out there starring Great Dane’s. Not that I watch that stuff but yea I’ve been curious and perved those German flix, roflmao.

Squinting in the bright New Orleans morning light, I manage to gather up enough brain cells to shoot off a quick text message to my friend Y. I wrote: "2 words dog park", and he replied back pretty quick with a "you left" and he said to come on back. We texted each other back and forth for a couple minutes, and I asked him to meet me half way, walking. While I was waiting with slightly closed eyes as my hangover was just making itself known, two policemen walked up to me and asked for some ID.

I’m thinking to myself "Oh no fucking way dude", but very cheerfully took out my drivers license, and said "Sure" and hand it to the officer. Did I happen to mention that I had a little bit of smoke in my purse at that time? (Uh oh) He asks me as while looking at my Kentucky driver’s license "Have you ever been arrested before?" and I shot him a look of shocked innocence and lied through my teeth "Oh no, never!"

He asked me what I was doing there and I told him I had gotten into an argument with a friend and walked out and ended up in the park. "You spent the whole night in the park?" he asked, "Yes sir." I lied again, lol. I started explaining that I had called my friend and was gonna go back to his place when my phone buzzed with a new message. The cops handed me my license without another word and silently walked away. Whew! Another disaster averted, lol.

I text messaged my friends that the cops just left, and he texted back that he hoped that I didn’t jinx the Saints game that day . . .how typically male, lmao. As we walked back to his studio, I was a little bit amused. For the life of me I couldn’t remember why I walked out the night before in the first place. We didn’t talk much on the stroll back to his place, though neither of us was pissed or anything. I’m not really sure he knew exactly what happened either, lol, though he told me about my asking about acid.

When we got there all I wanted to do was sleep, so I got naked and climbed in bed. I was a little bummed, my little drunken escapade cost me a whole night of wicked sex (pout). I wasn’t feeling so hot, but when Y climbed in after me, he was soon snuggling up to my butt. He slept with shorts on, but I could feel his cock pressing up against my ass, and I pressed back. I turned around, and slid down the length of his body, kissing and nibbling at his hips, stroking and licking his balls, I was getting so excited the more tense his body got.

Making love to his cock with my mouth was so awesome, even though he had a mini hang up about being uncircumcised. It’s never bothered me, I dated a guy 4 years that was uncut, actually it made sex better, there’s more skin that gives and slides I think. I was really horny and decided to break out my little black pocket rocket vibe to put on my clit while I deep throated his cock. My pussy went wild and I could feel my moans vibrating his dick,

I sucked, licked and stroked and he buzzed my clit with that little vibe until I started tasting precum. "Mmmm, I wanna fuck!" I told him, and he grabbed for yet another rubber (we went through a fucking LOT of them over the weekend, lol). I rode his cock long and hard, but he still didn’t cum, that was until I started using the vibe on my clit and his dick. That really got him going!

I ran the pocket rocket down his shaft, buzzed his balls with it, and placed it so it vibrated my fat, swollen clit and his throbbing dick at the same time. Ohhh, it was so fucking hot! I could feel the vibrations all the way inside my pussy, and soon his moans were mingling with mine and we both came together. He rolled off of me and we both power-napped before the Saints game came on.

Later on after the Saints kicked ass and won, we went back to Buffa’s to do the "Walk of Shame", lol. I went straight to the back to leech the wireless signal, while Y sat at the bar. I decided I’d had enough drinking for one weekend and stuck to RC Cola. Several people were in Buffa’s the night before and that’s when I found I had looked up that hot chick’s dress while she danced on the chair. I just wish I could remember if she had panties on or not!

We didn’t stay there long, neither of us felt much like partying, The rest of my visit was uneventful really, we just hung out at his place and watched TV (which was kind of fun for me, I don’t watch TV). Of course we had sex several times before I left, and I had him use my toys on me again. That’s when I found out I got his sex-toy cherry, he’d never used them before. He told me that the next girlfriend he gets, he’s going to have to use a vibrator on.

I thought that was pretty fuckin’ cool, so I gave him my pocket-rocket and a pair of sheer powder blue panties as souvenirs (see the pic above, hehehe). All in all, it was a pretty good trip. I found out I wasn’t in love, had some really good sex and got someone’s cherry, and experienced quite an adventure in the process. But best of all, I made it home in one piece. Since then I’ve given it a lot of thought and decided to rescind my abstinence from dick penetration, it seems kind of silly now to me.

So look out! Techy’s horny and in the mood, lol.

What happens in NOLA (part 1). . . Entry for October 10, 2006

What happens in NOLA stays in NOLA . . . NOT. Actually this was one of those adventures that can go down in the books under "Well, things could have been a lot worse", lol. After I finished my last post sitting there in the bar, I started drinking Gin and Pineapple juice. I figured my odds of having a bad hangover with Gin were less than with any other boozes, but at least I didn’t get sick, but wait, I’m getting way ahead of myself.

Me and Y were both drinking quite a bit, after all, it was Saturday night, what else was there to do in the French Quarter? I started dancing with this one chick who was in the bar and my friend admitted to thinking she was hot. . I didn’t trip out or anything, I had already realized I wasn’t in love with this guy; that there would never be anything more than a good friendship between us. She was married, had red hair, nice big titties, was kind of pretty. Hehehe, I even kissed her on the tits when we were dancing (through her shirt of course, lol).

Anyways, I’m not sure how many drinks later, as I was talking to someone at the bar, I tossed my head and my friend’s sunglasses fell off my head, and he started getting pissy about it, even though they didn’t get scratched. Of course that didn’t sit too well with me, and that was the first sign of trouble. The next was when somehow a conversation I was having (with I don’t even remember who now) turned into me asking about buying some LSD. I think I might have been talking about it because one of the times I had went to NOLA I had bought some really good acid, but that’s an entirely different story, lol.

Well, apparently that really pissed him off (still not sure why) and he left to go back to his place and abandoned me there. I didn’t give a flying fuck by that time, so I just kept on partying and probably making an ass of myself in the process, lol. I remember pulling my pants down and mooning the bartender at one point. I was wearing my pretty aqua stretch-lace hipster panties, but for the life of me I can’t remember why I mooned him, lol.

Things start to get real blurry around this time, but I remember partying with this small group of people, this guy, his son and his fiancée. She looked barely old enough to drink and had a real bubbly personality and was cute as hell too. They were celebrating their engagement I think, cause I remember looking at this tiny little diamond ring and thinking "This guy’s Dad looks like he’s got $$ and that’s all she got?" Like I said, I was pretty drunk by that point, lol.

I was told the next day that I danced with her, while she stood in a chair and I lifted up her dress and took a peek. I wish like hell I could remember that part and whether or not she had panties on! I do remember deliberately touching her titties as I took a set of silver Mardi Gras beads from her though, lol. The bar was closing so I tagged along with everyone else to the after party at the happy Dad and couple’s place.

I was dragging a rolling duffle bag with me, so I was behind everyone else as they went in this building of nice new Condos, and didn’t see the direction or floor they went to. So luckily for me, there were some lesbians hanging out on the inner balcony railing. I was soooo drunk by then, I think I stumbled up with a "Did you shee whish way my fweinds went?" before probably inviting myself in. They were both really cute lezzies, one an attractive non-butch blonde, the other a sweet sexy mulatto girl.

I don’t remember their names, much less what we talked about but I’m sure I would be embarrassed if I did. The one weird thing I do remember is getting their coffeepot ready for the next morning. It was the nicest coffee maker I had ever seen in someone’s home, it looked electronic or something, I think. The light-skinned girl had went to bed while I talked to the blonde, so I went into her room and drunkenly kissed her goodnight. I sure hope like hell my breath didn’t smell too bad, lol.

Dragging my errant wheeled luggage behind me on its strap like a leash for a misbehaving dog, I staggered down the next block. Some guy in a dark green SUV stopped to give me a ride (though I was only 2 more blocks away it turns out) and I let my fucked up, drunken ass be picked up. I have no idea at all what that conversation was all about, but I probably turned him down for sex at one point. I wanted to get back to my friend’s place, he had my laptop with him and I remember wanting it.

I finally made it to his studio apartment and stumbled up the stairs, ripping and ruining one of my comfy thong-sandals. So I walk in and already have a bad "tude" going on and ask him why he fucking left me at the bar. That’s when he said something about me asking about some Acid and I was like "WTF is it your business what I do . . . " or something to that effect. Like I said, I don’t recall much, but it must have really pissed me off cause the next thing I remember doing was packing my bag and storming out into the French Quarter in the pre-dawn morning, crying my eyes out.

I walked back to Buffa’s where everything started going wrong, sat outside the empty bar and fired up my laptop. The Melrose Hotel is right across the street and I leeched off their wireless signal. At about this point I called home and left a drunken, sobbing message about coming home, even though my ride wasn’t scheduled to pick me up till Monday. Thankfully my kids erased the message before I got home so I wouldn’t’ have to listen to it.

I loaded up Yahoo messenger and messaged a good friend in Baltimore, saying I was in trouble, but of course (like everyone else) she was already in bed. Shutting down my computer I packed it back into my now obedient luggage. Feeling lost and all alone, I broke down and got on a crying jag. I sat there on the stoop with my head in my hands, sobbing, until this skinny little crack whore that weighed probably 90 pounds walked by and asked me if I was ok. Of course I replied "No, I’ve got no where to go . . ." and cried even harder.

"You can come with me" she replied "as long as you don’t mind that I’m a whore". The crying had sobered me up some, so I was thinking "been there/done that" and said no, it didn’t bother me. She was in a hurry she explained, and said I could crash on her couch while she applied her trade. But she had to hurry up, she explained, and go see her old man at this place on Canal St (a bit of a distance from Esplanade where we were at) before they closed.

She grabbed the handle of my bag for me and pulled it along while I struggled to keep up, but after I don’t know how many blocks, it was no use. I had to put on my black slide-in heels cause I ripped my sandals, and couldn’t keep up. I told her to wait and took my bag back, explaining that I knew I was holding her up, so why didn’t she run along ahead and just pick me up on her way back? She agreed and I sat down on a different stoop deeper in the French Quarter and waited.

I sat there for a while, I’m not exactly sure how long though before I realized she wasn’t coming back, lol. I wandered around the French Quarter, lost and alone, not to mention still drunk, but slowly sobering as the light started tingeing the sky. Stealing someone’s Sunday paper, I found myself sitting on yet another stoop, when this guy walks up to me and I think I bummed a cigarette from him, and we started talking.

He was from North Carolina in town installing drywall for a living. Apparently he had been out all night as well, and ended up getting stiffed by some bitch or something like that, can’t recall the whole story. Needless to say, he kept trying his damnedest to get me to go back to his place in Slidell, the city right across from Lake Pontchartrain. I was still turning him down politely when I realized it had gotten light enough for me to see (and sober enough) and I could tell where I was, right across the street from the French Quarter Dog Park.

I had passed this same park before with my friend Y on our way back from the store one day, and had wanted to come back to a little used book store that was across the street from it. But I never did get the chance, we were too busy fucking or watching TV (grin). Getting up from the steps, I told the guy I wanted to go to the park, so he followed me there. The park was really cool, it has this high wall around it with typical New Orleans cast iron on top of brick, but one side is still damaged from Katrina.

Walking through the iron gates, I noticed some decent turquoise blue lawn chairs under a shady pine tree, and headed right for them. Parking my duffle bag with all my belongings, I took inventory around me. There was a old homeless guy in the shade of a shed snoring behind me, and only a single dog playing in the early dawn light. I give the guy credit, he really tried getting me to come home and fuck him, but finally gave it up as futile and left.

My phone rang right about then, and it was my son, asking me if I was OK. I didn’t remember calling him, so I said I was fine and I’d call back later. Luckily for me I had brought along my gold velour travel pillow. You know the kind that is shaped like a horseshoe? They are fucking AWESOME for sleeping in planes and chairs if you’re sitting up. So there I was, feet up on my bag, purse resting in the space between my back and the chair, comfy pillow around my neck, and I passed out . . .

Live from the Crescent City . . . Entry for October 7, 2006

Well here I am in New Orleans and I’m having a great “lost” weekend, lol. Really I haven’t done much but chill out, get buzzed, watch TV and have pretty fucking hot sex (grin)! Right now I’m sitting in a restaurant/bar called Buffa’s in the French Quarter (1001 Esplanade) and I finally picked up a wireless signal. It’s not exactly a hole-in-the-wall, but close, lol. The food is typical New Orleans fare, and very, very good! If you stop in I recommend the Buffa Burger or Delmonico Chicken Sandwich, yum!

That’s all for now, have a good weekend, kisses! tst

Happy Weekend to me! . . . Entry for October 5, 2006

My Weekend is starting early, I’m leaving Thursday for a trip to New Orleans (NOLA) to go see my friend and get my freak on, lol. I’m so excited, I can hardly stand it! I haven’t really gotten laid since June and I am sooo ready for it! Though I’m not going just to get laid, I’m going there to find something out. See, I’ll be visiting "Y" from my "dilemmas" post.

I haven’t really updated y’all on what’s been going on in my life romantically, so here goes . . . I listened to the opinions, and taking everything in consideration, decided to take a step back from Y, and tell him my feelings. Well, all that objectivity I was supposed to gain by distancing myself from him lasted all of about a weekend long, lol. I know, I know what, I should do isn’t what I would do. Sometimes there’s just no denying chemistry. And what if he really is " THE ONE"?

On the other hand there’s L in Switzerland, who I have been growing increasingly distant from day by day, though not intentionally (on my behalf anyways). I know he’s been very busy, and we talk on the phone every few days or so when our schedules match. But he’s got some serious personal issues of his own to deal with that have come up this week. Not to mention now that I’m talking to Y again, I’ll admit, my interest in him is waning.

Worse case scenario on the NOLA trip is, I’ll be getting some OK sex from an online friend I’ve been dying to meet in person. Best case? We shall see, hehehe. In the meantime, y’all have a great weekend of your own and I’ll try to post during my trip. In the mean time, take this fun quick quiz about "What kind of Martini are you?" I’ve never drunk a Martini, but I thought it was cute. Apparently, I’m a Blueberry, lol.
Kisses!
tst

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often. You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail. You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country. Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party. Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality. Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.

What Flavor Martini Are You?

Loss of Affection . . . Entry for October 2, 2006

This past week I’ve come across a couple of different bloggers that have posted about their problems with “Loss of Affection”. Both guys have been married for quite a long time, 10+ years. For them, divorce is not an option, mainly due to the fact that they want to keep the family unit together for their children’s sake. Now I applaud any man who makes sacrifices for his children, but I can’t understand how their home situation could have gotten so bad that they are completely miserable in their relationship.

In one case, it was the old “I thought she would change” scenario, which of course didn’t happen. But saying “Don’t you know any better than that?” does little to resolve the situation. When will people learn that they must accept the ones they love, including all their faults good and bad, and be willing to live with it and not expect them to change? I’ve tried to remember if I’ve ever fallen into that trap of “if he loves me he will change” and I don’t think I have, I’m pretty realistic (OK, so I’m a pessimist, wanna fight about it? lol).

From what I know of their situations, neither one has resorted to cheating on their spouse, though they both have turned to the Internet to try to help fill that empty void (camming, chatting, etc). They are both still getting sex from their partners, but think it’s more of a “duty” thing for their wives, for at least one of them anyways., no affection, just plain sex. I can sympathize, but not really relate to their problems, cause to me, no relationship is worth it if it makes me miserable in some way or other (just ask my 3 ex husbands, lol).

I could see divorce as a viable solution if their spouse were abusive, alcoholic or had some other serious flaws, but they are still getting laid and everything else in their marriage is OK. But married life feels affectionless to them, leaving this big empty hole in their lives. The standard answer “Marriage Counseling” has been tried, but that hasn’t seemed resolve the issue. I’m kind of at a loss here how to help these guys other than saying, “it’s time to get a lawyer dude”. Like I said, that’s just not an option for them.

Has “Loss of Affection” ever happened to you (or someone you know) in a relationship? What did you do to get it back? Any thoughts or suggestions on this topic would be appreciated.

Slide Show . . . Entry for October 1, 2006

Thought I’d try my hand at making a slide show . . .



Kisses!
tst