And now for some good news, I got rehired on an old contract job! It’s more pay, mileage, and monthly stipend to be on call for them. Works for me! I’m psyched out, the project manager is the same one that started the project, but got moved to a different department. We became friends over the course of my work for them and I’m glad we’re back in touch.And speaking of friends, I’ve been “friends” with this guy Mo for over a month now and we’ve decided we’re having a “kindaplatonic” friendship. It can’t be completely platonic cause we’ve had sex twice, though after the last time, we mutually (?) decided that twice was enough without catching any emotional damage.
That “having a fiancé” thing puts quite a damper on things, but we email every day, and cam/chat once in a while. On the average though, we see each other once a week or more. I kid him about feeling like I’m “penciled in” on his calendar.
I really enjoy our time together though, but he’s so anally organized (sorry bud, but you are!) it makes me nervous. I on the other hand, am an organized slob. My shit may lay all over the place, but I know where everything is, lol. So anyways, we’ve been continuing this friendship that almost feels like a courtship and he seems to know all the right buttons to push.
We tease and taunt each other while we both know there’s this g/f (fiancé) in the background. Sure I’d love to fuck him again, my god it was so hot the last time. I danced real dirty for him, and we had some fantastic sex, but still I felt this emotional barrier between us.
He still wants to drown his gaze in the pools of my dark eyes, and I love looking into his color-changing green/gold/brown ones. I know I’ve been lonely for so long for this kind of attention, and I keep hitting myself in the head with a reality brick, but I don’t want to stop seeing him, it’s not painful . . .yet.
I got a surprise call from him this afternoon, he wanted to come by to see me, if only just to kiss me for a second, and I thought “Whoa, that’s a surprise.” But I had to pick up the kids from the library and knew that if he came over, it wasn’t just going to stop with a kiss.
Is it puppy love? Hmmm, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Other than the physical attraction, there is a strong mental attraction there as well. He appreciates the fact that I’m smart, and finds it sexy, and THAT is a real rarity, in this area anyways.
Out here with all the military bases and the war in Iraq, there’s about 3 women to every man a friend told me the other day. Now divide that with the guys that still have all their teeth, and that narrows the selection even more. The miniscule amount of men that really admire a woman’s intelligence already seem to be taken.
(sigh) I guess what my point here is, is that I’m playing with fire and I’m just wondering when the burn will set in. But I can’t possibly fathom why if Mo has such a great old lady, what’s the attraction that keeps him coming back for more.
And why do I keep letting him . . .
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