Happy Monday y’all! My weekend was pretty, er, eventful, lol. People ask me ALL the time if I take it up the ass, and my stock response is “With an ass like this do I have a choice?” If pressed for details, I explain that usually in order for me to have anal sex I have to have 2 things. Either emotions are involved or I’m pretty wasted and horny, lol. And I have to orgasm clitorally and vaginally (which is required for my clit to cum anyways), so I’m relaxed enough to enjoy it.With that all being said, Bubby called me Saturday morning and asked if he could come by, maybe fish or whatever. I hadn’t talked to him in a while, because I had been purposefully distancing myself from him. I didn’t want to dump him as a friend (never can have too many friends, except on 360, lol), so I told him yea, we could grill outside, and fish or whatever. When he got here, I laughingly told him I knew he was gonna be coming by, because I was on my period again. It seems everytime my period pops up, he calls me and we have sex. Luckily for me (and him I guess, didn’t really care) I was nearly finished and only spotting (ewwwww, I sure some of you are saying, lol).
Bubby arrived around noon but didn’t start the fire until about 4pm. My kids get along with him great, and he really enjoys their company. He misses his 13 yo daughter pretty bad since the breakup with his marriage (she’s turned against him). He thinks his ex is whispering poison in his daughter’s ear (I hate bitches like that). He said he was a grill master (aren’t all men, right?) so he stayed at the fire pit and smoked this 4lb pork roast, it came out awesome! My son made my secret recipe potato salad (I will post that recipe and more sometime this summer) and I made BBQ beans over the fire.
Of course while I was out there, we were both drinking and smokin’, lol. LMAO, it was funny, I almost fucked up the beans because I spaced out and dumped about 1 cup of brown sugar (what was left in the bag) in em instead of about ¼ cup. I managed to scoop most of it back out and salvage it, lol. So by the time dinner was done even though we “sampled” quite a bit of meat, we both had a really good buzz going on (did I mention the pain killers for my tooth?). Pink Floyd said it best, I had become “comfortably numb”, as well as pretty horny!
Me and Bubby had been flirting back and forth all day, so sex was pretty much well a gimme. He told me he had been trying to get a hold of me for a while, but my phone was always busy. The last time I talked to him was the weekend I went out with Silk and I had told him about it (well, not ALL about it, lol). He said he thought I didn’t want to talk to him (not true) or was avoiding him (well, kinda) and didn’t want to be his friend anymore. I explained that I had been trying to distance myself from him, but no matter what, I would always be his friend.
I’d been rebuilding my laptop hard drive all day, downloading drivers, patches fixes, etc.(dialup fucking sux!), and finally quit so I could log on to Anywebcam. In the mood I was in, I was ready to perv some pussy and get nasty, lol. I wanted to “turn him out” on the pervin cams thing, but he’s kinda a prude. Earlier I had bent over in front of him and he smacked my ass, and I was like “ouch” but just kidding. He said “I thought you liked that if I remember right?” I replied “Yea, if I got a hard cock in my wet pussy!” but he thought I said “big cock” and said “Well I can’t help ya with a big cock, but I got onefor ya” or something like that.
I asked him if he had a complex about his small dick size (I didn’t say it like that tho, lol) and he, “A little”, he said. Then I told him “Well, even though my ex (Darkshard) was average size he used to like to play with extension sleeves to “stretch me out” (what’s up with that anyways?) Bubby said he was just gonna “use what the good Lord gave me.” I asked about all those toys he had in his “toy box” then. Apparently his wife used to get them at parties but didn’t really use them, they were more of a tease. I thought that was pretty fucked up, what a bitch.
Well, small dick or no, I wanted some, so I jumped in my chat room to see what trouble I could start, lol. I was drunk a few weeks ago and decided to open a chat room and play with it for a while. I used to run a very popular chat room a few years ago, (BBW’s R Us) but stopped when they switched from IRC chat. I was trying to think up a catchy name when my kitten “Mr. Kitty” jumped up on my lap and demanded my attention (just like he’s doing right now, the little brat). And I though hmmm, how about “Want to see some pussy?” as a room name. This way when dumbasses (ok, not all of them are dumbasses) ask to see my pussy, I could hold up the kitten (lol, I told you I was drunk!). So as room names go, its pretty catchy, so I’ve kept it.
I have no rules in my chatroom, other than don’t be abusive. I just that I think most chat room rules are kinda stupid and ego-tripping (please don’t be offended, its just my opinion). Most people want to see more (no requesting/directing), or want to chat with someone (no blind PM’s), or type in all caps (mostly newbies and it means you’re yelling), and other dumb things. If someone says something I don’t like, I tell em to fuck off shit for brains! It’s much more fun to abuse them and make them run away then booting em out, lol. If they won’t shut up, I just iggy (ignore) them or if they really piss me off, ban them from my cam, but not the room. I believe in freedom of speech, even for idiots. I will never kick someone out just because they’re an idiot. Even if someone calls me fat, ugly or whatever, I don’t kick em out. I just laugh and tell them just because they need tweezers and a microscope to find their dick so the hooker they just paid for can jack them off, don’t project their inadequacies out on me! They usually leave after that, lmao.
Sorry, got off on a tangent there, now where was I? Oh yea, getting some dick, lol. Well, this is gonna be a long post and I need to do some stuff right now, so I will jump off and post part two later on.
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