OK, I haven’t been posting EVERYthing that has been going on in my life lately, mostly due to the fact that I’m trying to protect the guilty. By the time you (dear reader, lol) finally read this though, it (probably) won’t matter anymore, or at least I hope it won’t.Considering my current shitty emotional/mental state, it’s not good for me to keep all of this in. I can’t "publicly" post this right now because the parties involved have told me to keep it on the down low. So I’m gong to at least write it al out and get it out of my system.
I have been having an affair for the last few weeks with "Lars", the married guy who lives next door to my friend down the road. I know, I know, like when I wrote about him the first time (On being stupid . . . Entry for December 17, 2006), I know I’m being stupid, but I don’t care.
I "feel" something with this guy (even though I know better) that I haven’t felt with the other men I’ve been with since my last relationship ended. I don’t even have a clue as to why I’m so physically attracted to him, considering he’s not really my "type" (he’s a little older than me, for one).
He’s a very passionate lover even with the occasional "Mr. ED" problems. I’m attracted to him in so many different ways, but most of all it’s how I feel when I have my arms around him, and he’s holding me tight, it just feels so "right".
I know what you’re thinking, it’s the fact that he’s married and I can’t have him that makes me want him, but you’re wrong. I’ve had my chance with JD (remember him? he’s married too), and I don’t want him because he’s married. Well that and I’m not attracted to him in the least like I am Lars.
Remember too, about my conviction concerning not letting a married man penetrate me? I threw that rule straight out the window after Lars kissed me for the first time. I don’t know why, but I wanted him that first time really, really bad.
The next time we got together, he had hiked a half a mile through the woods to come see me at my trailer. He left his truck in his own driveway so no one would see it at my place and say something. He asked my not to say anything to my friend about us seeing each other and I agreed. The last thing I want is for him to get in trouble.
That time he came over was really fucking hot! We sat in the living room and got stoned, listening to Nine Inch Nails sing "Closer" ("I want to fuck you like an animal . . ."). I was already barely dressed, wearing only a scarf around my hips in an accentuating form of modesty, lol.
It wasn’t long before I had his pants off and was making love to him with my mouth. Of course it didn’t stop there and we spent the whole morning (3 hrs) making love in my bed. Sex with Lars is so . . . it’s hard to describe. I guess you would say sensual and erotic, but very, very comfortable as well. Which is surprising, because we haven’t known each other all that long to have achieved that level of comfort.
I’m not inhibited whatsoever, so ever since we first started having sex, I’ve always included my toys. He seems to enjoy the hell out of watching my pussy squirt and throb, and I love watching his face while he does it (grin). His wife (long story there) is this little bitty skinny thing, but he really seems to enjoy every inch of my warm, soft, plush body too.
He loves watching my face (whether his cock is in my mouth or not, hehehe) and is constantly telling me how beautiful I am (who doesn’t like to hear that, lol?). And it’s not just the physical compatibility, comfort and attentiveness that is such an attraction, I really like him as a friend and person.
I honestly did try staying away from him, but when I saw his truck drive down the road Sunday, I couldn’t resist and I called his cell phone. I asked him if he still collected scrap metal for recycling, cause I have an old metal futon that needs carting off. It was a lame excuse, I know, but plausible, lol.
He told me he did, and to give him a call this morning, which I did first thing. At first his phone was off so I left a voice message. About an hour later I tried again, but this time I text messaged him saying he could pick up the metal anytime and I hoped he had a good day.
I was disappointed once again, told myself I was being stupid and anyways what the hell did I expect? Not long after my text message he called me though, and my ignorant little heart skipped a beat. He wanted to see me, he said, but there was some major drama going on with his 16-year-old stepdaughter at school.
He promised to call me after taking a shower and finding out whether or not his wife and/or Mother in law would be coming home early. Mentally I prepared myself for the let down, but surprisingly he called me back an hour later and said everything was OK. He said he had just finished rolling a blunt and if I wanted to, I could come over and smoke it with him.
I was a little bit nervous about going over there (naturally), but figured fuck it, if he doesn’t care, than why should I? Every time we’ve gotten together I’ve made coffee for us, and it’s been nice to share a cup with who appreciates it for a change. So now "having coffee" has taken on new meaning
I parked behind his pickup and went inside. I knew my friend next door would probably see my car and ask questions. So Lars told me if anyone asked, I was just over there asking about him picking up some scrap metal in my yard. I don’t like lying to anyone, but I’ll respect someone’s wishes, as long as it’s within reason.
I brought the coffee in the kitchen, set it down and hugged him hard, breathing in his masculine scent. Mmmm, he felt so good (so right) in my arms. I softly kissed his face and confessed that I had missed him and had tried staying away, but it was no good. I wanted him too much. Like I said, I know I was being stupid.
We went into the living room and smoked the blunt and soon got to talking. I came right out and asked him why the hell he married a woman that he has to hide his true self from (he can’t get high around her, etc.) and is now so unhappy with, after less than a year being married.
He explained that they’ve known each other more than 15 years (she was his best friend’s wife at one time) and when they were dating, things were OK. But once they got married, she changed, apparently, and not for the better. I decided I didn’t really care why, I was just glad he wasn’t happy and wanted to share some of his time with me.
Stretching out on the couch, I laid my head in his lap and watched him while the told the tale, but couldn’t concentrate. I wanted to kiss those lips, not watch them talk. So I did just that, ending any serious conversation we might have had at that point, lol. After a few minutes of making out, he got up go to take a piss, but I had other plans.
I got up too, and dropped to my knees in front of him. I wanted to feel his cock throb in my mouth, hehehe. That had it’s desired effect, as I opened my eyes and looked up into his. I tasted him thoroughly, and watched erotic expressions flit across his face. Damn my panties were wet!
"Mmmm, you better go take a piss" I laughed, taking his cock out of my mouth. I had to stop before his dick got so hard it would be aiming at the ceiling, lmao! While he was gone, I took off the dark green velour pants (and pink panties) I had on, so now all I was wearing was a long sleeved mans thermal underwear shirt.
He’s got a small aquarium in his living room, and I bent over to check out the fish. Yea, I knew I was posing there with my big, round, naked ass sticking all out, and hard nipples poking thru my shirt, but it did have the desired effect. He walked back into the living room with an "Oh my God . . ."
He stood behind me, dropped his shorts and stroked my ass with his cock as I sensuously rubbed up against him. We played like that for a while, kissing and touching each other, then cam up for air and sat back down and finished smoking the blunt. I was pretty stoned by then and purring like a kitten as he stoked me with his hands.
Hmmm, this post is a lot longer than I anticipated, I’ll finish it tomorrow . . .
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