What’s Christmas without drama . . . Entry for December 8, 2006

It wouldn’t be the Christmas season without family drama, and this year is no exception. If I’m not constantly fighting with my teenage sons about their chores, then I’m intervening in fights between my Mom and my Daughter, Erica. Erica and my 8 year old Granddaughter have been living with my Mom for quite a while now, and like I’ve said, my mother can be kind of a psycho bitch sometimes. Last night Mom called me and started venting about their latest fight.

Mom is one of those “It’s my way or no fucking way!” types of people and my only daughter has a problem with taking personal responsibility for her own actions. Needless to say it’s not a good combo to have underneath one roof. Long story short, my Mom was going to “punish” my daughter for having made them wait over an hour to pick her up from the BART station (the Bay Area’s above/below ground train system) the evening before.

My mother wanted to teach her a lesson by making her take the bus home after riding BART, instead of picking her up as usual. Well I listened to my Mom bitch and moan (again) about all of Erica’s shortcomings (some of which she blames on me, but do I blame her for my faults?) and their problems. After a while I did the usual holding-the-phone-away-from-my-ear and saying “Uh huh”, “Really?” and “You don’t say” at appropriate intervals then passed the phone to my boys so they could talk to her.

They hung up after a few minutes then probably not half an hour later Mom calls me back, livid. So what has my Daughter done this time? She called her boyfriend and tells him about their fight and he says he’s going to pick her up. Erica knows better than to pull something like this, and of course when she calls Mom to tell her, Mom goes ballistic and says she better be on that bus or she can get the fuck out.

For real, she should have been out of my Mom’s house ages ago and I’ve told her this. Hell, I left home at 13 just to get away from the crazy bitch (but I still love her). All 3 of us kids got out before our 18th birthdays, and my Daughter is going on 26. Lately their arguments have been escalating to violence, my Mom being the aggressor. But now that Erica’s gotten a steady boyfriend with a good job, I told her she really needs to get her shit together and out on her own.

So now Mom tells me that Erica’s boyfriend called her, and he her that he doesn’t want Erica taking the bus at night alone (this is in Oakland, CA btw). Of course my Mom tries to explain she’s trying to prove a point to Erica, but he tells her he doesn’t care, he’s picking her up. Not something you tell my Mother if you’re trying to stay on her good side.

Well I listened to my Mom bitch and moan (again) about all of Erica’s shortcomings (some of which she blames on me, but do I blame her for my faults?) and I tried to calm her down. Much to my dismay she goes “Well, are you going to call her?” I was stunned, “What do you want me to say Mom? It’s not like she’s ever listened to me before.” But my Mom wasn’t going to be happy until I called her, so I hung up and got my Daughter on the phone.

I was pissed off for getting dragged in the middle of their fight and immediately went into “preach” mode, something I despise. Of course I let her have it, not that it did any good. The child blames nothing on herself, it’s always everybody else’s fault. I told her to call her boyfriend and tell him not to come pick her up, but it was already too late, she was riding in his car.

So I explained to her that the bottom line was if she didn’t take the bus home and showed up with him in his car, she was going to have to pack their bags and get the fuck out when she got home, no ifs ands or buts. Somehow I think that was her plan all along so he could come to her rescue, because my Mother called me back a little while later to tell me that Erica and my granddaughter have moved out.

I hate to think that she would be that manipulative, but I remember how she used to be in her teens and she hasn’t changed that much. My mother behaved evilly though when they were leaving. Erica’s boyfriend was taking their things to the car and my Mom tells him “You know she had herpes, don’t you?” When Mom confessed to me that she said that I could NOT believe it!

My mouth dropped open, literally, and I was speechless. My daughter had contracted it from her baby’s Daddy, the bastard. I think that’s why she went lesbian for years and this is the first guy she’s had a relationship with since him. But for my Mom to blurt out something like that just to hurt Erica is just way too low a blow. No matter how pissed she was, she should never have gone there.

No wonder I’m as fucked up in the head as I am, aren’t families wonderful?