Down in a Hole . . . Entry for April 20, 2008

This video from Alice in Chains (Down in a Hole) represents what my life has been like for months now. No good news to report really, my depression has been getting the better of me. My job history has been nearly non existent for months, so cash flow has been bringing me down and I don’t really have a love life to speak of. It seems the couple of guys I hooked up with only call me when they’re drunk, which is another bummer.

Even writing has gotten to be something that has suffered due to my mood, and that was always my one outlet that never let me down. Winter is over and spring is here, but it gives me no comfort either. Living in the same house with my ex husband has turned out to be more difficult than I imagined. His alcoholism and attitude has taken a toll on my mental/emotional well being.
I’m trying to pull myself out of this hole, but it’s harder than a man’s dick while watching a porn flick. I’m still on my meds, but the benefits have worn off.

One major problem is that I miss living in the country so much. That really surprised me since I've lived in the city most of my life, but I had peace living in that trailer next to the little lake. Being able to walk outside naked (or nearly so) and commune with nature, fishing whenever I wanted, taking walks through the woods, I miss it all so much. But I don’t miss the slow dialup anymore, lol.

Anyways, Happy 420 y’all . . .