You know, its funny . . . Entry for April 30, 2007

You know it’s funny, just when you think you’ve got yourself and your inner life analyzed, sometimes even you can make mistakes. I know that’s kind of confusing, but let me explain. Here I have this handsome, strong, virile young man at my disposal, and I stopped taking “advantage” of him.

I think part of it’s because I saw Mo yesterday and we had coffee, then lunch at the park where he took some nice pix of me (thanks for the great pix Mo). We talked of deeply personal things and how we still plan on remaining friends, strictly platonic this time.

Then he said he had been rereading my blogs and said that I seem to fall into a pattern of “flavor of the month” with the guys in my life. I totally disagree with him, I don’t just use a man then kick him to the curb when I’m done, though it might have feel like it to the guy at the time. Things just don’t work out.

By the end of our nice platonic lengthy afternoon together, I Mo told me he loved me as we were parting. I had already kinda guessed he felt that way, but I already knew I loved him. I love a lot of people just for who they are, but he meant it more complexly, and I just left it at that.

Which got me to thinking of this new quasi-relationship I’ve gotten myself into. My dream guy, right? Triple “H” - hot, horny and handsome and can fuck for days. But for the last few days I’ve wanted to teach him how to eat my pussy and he’s avoided the instruction. He only licked me once since he’s been here, during our first night together.

I know from (being told) that I have a nice tasting pussy, from those connoisseurs who love licking the lily. But I’ve done everything but shove his face in my crotch to get him to eat me, and it’s always something else, like getting fucked first and passing out, or some other reason. But I did talk to him openly about it today.

I bluntly asked him if he just didn’t like eating pussy, and he admitted that after he tried it on nasty pussy, it’s been a turn off for him. Then I explained that most guys only eat pussy to get their dick sucked and that’s it. I told him of the time my ex had become complacent and quit making me cum orally even though I sucked his dick at least 3 times a day.

I explained I thought this was rather rude behavior and I quit giving my ex head altogether until he got the hint and stepped up to the plate again. Bluntly, I looked up at him and said “You know what I’m saying don’t you?” and he said he got it.

I’m still not too happy at the moment though, since I also feel like I’m being neglected for a damn PC video game! I’ve been ignored for a video game before with my ex and it ended up in a big fight, so to avoid this I informed him that I’ve been through this before and didn’t like it. He agreed not to, but yesterday spent more time playing this stupid computer game with my kids (who like him a lot) than he did with me.

Well, I slept on that and have been doing a lot of thinking. This man/boy is my lover, nothing more. I’ve felt no more of that initial “oneness” since the first few days. I’d rather be his friend and mentor (lol) than the love of his young life.

I asked him today how has he been enjoying his weeklong vacation from his normal reality, and he pondered the “why” of it all. Why did I stop for him when no one else would? Why did things turn out to be more than just a ride?

He wanted to know what the rhyme and reason was for this, and I told him “Maybe someone up above just decided you needed a break.” This boy has been living in the streets, working from gig to gig for a while now, according to him. But what I haven’t mentioned yet is that TJ is a pathological embellisher, lol.

I’ve met people like this before, who (for some reason or other) need to make up or “embellish” stories of their life. I think people who have some deep, dark secret they want to hide from themselves have this type of behavior. Like fictionalizing their life will make the ugliness of truth disappear.

My last husband (Ron Arterburn I need a divorce!) had me believing in a whole other life he had that was nothing but a lie, and I busted him on it. That time I talked to my sister-in-law and asked her all these questions, and she was like “He said what?” You should have heard me let him have it, but I digress . . .

Anyways, so I’ve decided to put TJ into the category of “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” and chalk it up to experience. His band mates should be coming to pick him up any day now (according to him), but I’ll have no regrets.

I’m sure I won’t be forgetting him for a quite a while after he’s gone . . .

Free to good home (dos) . . . Entry for April 26, 2007

There’s nothing like a nice hot friendly bath to break the ice I think, also with wine and candles, nothing more seductive. I wanted us both clean and relaxed, and “in the mood” because I wanted this boy BAD. We were already pretty stoned and he was tired on top of that, so I was going to make the first move.

I explained to him that I run around here naked all the time, that is when my sons aren’t home (sure cuts down on laundry) and that it’s just skin, everybody’s got it, and I don’t make a big deal out of it. With that said I stripped naked in front of him and got into the tub.

He was surprisingly shy, I think he was trying to hide his obvious hardon, but I wasn’t embarrassed, I was flattered. Climbing into the hot steamy bath, he seemed nervous, so I started sipping my wine and rubbing his sore, ticklish feet. I was trying to make him more comfortable when he reached for me and we started kissing.

My arm brushed his stiff cock and I thought he was near explosion levels and I didn’t want to fuck in the bathtub cause the water washes away all those lubricating fluids too fast, hehehe. But we kissed and made out while I gently took his hand and guided it to my throbbing pussy.

Ohhh, he fingered me so nicely as I threw back my head and moaned up at the ceiling, arching my back in a plea for more. I pulsed my pussy muscles around his stiff fingers as our tongues danced together in our mouths. That’s when I realized something: I felt absolutely no boundaries or walls between us at all while we were kissing.

I didn’t try to speculate on that fact too much, the fingering I was getting took my mind off it real quick. Then I took my turn and started kissing him all over his chest then stomach and on down to his hips where my little underwater nips seemed to drive him absolutely crazy.

I moved my head on over to his handsome cock and took a taste, but not too much, I wanted to savor this one. The flavor of precum was strong in my mouth as I sucked and moaned on the head of his dick while he fingered me wetter than the water.

I hadn’t done any serious making out in a real long time, not to mention taking a bath with someone. Most trailer bathtubs are ridiculously small, but as you can see from the picture, it’s kind of heart shaped and fits both of us perfectly.

I was relaxed and half-drunk already when after kissing me one time, he told me “I love you” in the sweetest, shyest way. Then he ravaged my mouth with kisses and tried to sit me on top of his cock. “Uh uh uh”, I told him “lets finish getting clean and get in bed.”

Freshly shampooed and still damp all over, we hopped in bed where I ravaged my mouth on his cock. I haven’t felt a steely rod like that in a long time. It was like his passion made him that much harder, or the fact that he was only 20 and a strong wind probably would still give him a stiffy, lol.

I had asked him if he’d ever played with sex toys or been with a squirter before, and he said no, so I brought out Ruffles and the little blue dolphin clit tickler and he went to work. It was so fucking hot, watching his face as he fucked me just right. Then had to jump back, cause I came and squirted right in his face and mouth.

That, as they say, was all she wrote. The next thing I knew, my toys were tossed aside and he was fucking me from above, fast and hard. Lucky for me, his cock is stiff at the perfect angle to hit my g-spot every time and I was squirting, cumming and holding on to him tight with my arms and legs wrapped around his back.

We fucked all night long and even on webcam on AWC which was really fun, cause he had never chatted and cammed before and got a kick out of it. I know the roomies in my chatroom “Swingers R Us” enjoyed it thoroughly. I just love watching me suck his cock on cam, I never get to see what it looks like otherwise.

Well this happened on Saturday night and he is still here waiting to get picked up by his band mates. Yes, we are in love, and it’s hard to explain, but I feel like it’s the real deal. I sense the feelings flowing from him, and all the positive energy associated with love.

And to top it all off, my kids really like him too, since they’re all into video gaming. I mean after all, he’s only 3 years older than my oldest twin son. My youngest son, thinks he’s the coolest and there’s been a lot of male bonding going on between them all, which is a good thing.

I know he’ll be on the road with his band soon, but he’s promised to call me all the time and see me at least once a month for a couple days. I think I can get enough fucking done in a couple days to hold me off for a month if he really comes through with his promises.

I really do have a bad habit of picking up strays though, lol . . .

Free to good home (uno) . . . Entry for April 24, 2007

Friday night I received a call from my contracting company asking if I’d be available to do a job in Louisville Saturday morning at 9am EST (I live in CST). I said sure, I need the money real bad even though it’s a 2.5 hr trip each way.

I had to leave by 5:30 am my time to make it there on time, which of course meant waking up at 4:30. Normally this wouldn't have bothered me, but the work documents were screwed up and I couldn’t go to bed until they got them to me, which took until Midnight.

I got three hours work in but had to leave without resolving the problem, they would have to send someone else on Monday with a different config file. So this left me the whole afternoon free to visit with my son living at my ex husbands place there in town.

I saw he was doing fine, and we had a nice visit. Then drove my ex, Ed, to the liquor store hangout so he could bum some money off someone. Once again I was surprised how many guys I knew hanging out front with their brown paper bags and beers.

Flirting outrageously with one friend, he bought me a Smirnoff Ice Triple Black in my own little brown paper bag. It was a trip, watching all these old roosters strut their stuff, each trying to be the biggest cock of the walk. I sipped on my drink and it tasted so good Ed bought me another one.

The only thing I’d had other than those two bottles of Triple Black, was coffee, and I caught a little buzz pretty quick. I drove Ed back to his apartment and was shocked to realize I had spent a couple of hours just sitting out in the Rock’s (the name of the store) parking lot.

I hung out watching a movie at Ed’s for a while (Skeleton Key, trippy movie) and bullshitted with him and Randa before I had to leave. Ed tried getting me to go to bed with him, but I told him I was on my period and no, no blow job either, lol. For real though, I just didn’t feel like it with him, but I was horny as fuck though.

I finally left in the late afternoon for the long 2 hr drive home, and driving to the freeway I was feeling tense and out of sorts so I dissolved a Xanax under my tongue since I didn’t have a drink. I jumped on the interstate and after about 5 miles or so I saw a figure walking down the highway.

From the quick glimpse I got of him from behind, he looked like a stranded biker wearing a bandana and black leather jacket. It was hot outside and I didn’t think twice, I pulled over to offer him a ride. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw him jog trot for a second then slow down, like he was tired and his feet hurt.

I rolled down the passenger window and asked him where he was going. This guy was real young, and real cute with his nose ring and ear piercings. His name was TJ and he kinda reminded me of a young Leonardo Di Capprio, he’s is that cute. He said he was going to Shepardsville, which was a bit of a distance down the road, so I told him to hop in.

I had to scoot the seat back to fit his 6ft 2in tall frame to fit into my tiny car, and I could tell he was tired. Apparently he’d been walking quite a while without a ride, so I told him to take off his shoes. I listened to him spin out this bullshit story of how he got stranded, but didn’t really care, I liked the company and he was real easy on the eyes.

We got to Shepardsville where the rest of his band was supposed to be (TJ plays lead guitar) but he couldn’t quite remember where the apartments were at. I was very attracted to this 21 year old boy, and really wanted him to come home with me, but I was playing good Samaritan and drove all over the place trying to find landmarks that jogged his memory.

I literally drove for over an hour trying to find this place before we finally found the right apartment complex. Then there was the problem of finding the right apartment cause he had been drunk when he had left with his band mates.

He thought he found the right apartment and said no one was there. I told him I wasn’t going to abandon him with no place to go, that he could come home with me, so we wrote a note with my telephone numbers on it so they could get in touch with him.

Walking around searching for his friends, I got out of my car to check the oil and put some in and struck up a conversation with this lady that lived there. We talked for a good ten minutes and we tried to figure out where TJ had disappeared.

She told me these were low-income apartments and they were really nice looking. I asked to use the bathroom and she offered me a Mountain Dew too. Accepting it gratefully, we went to the rental office and I picked up a rental application, I think I might move there.

We spotted him and he had found where his buddies were staying but they weren’t there right now. The people there said he couldn’t stay, but they’d give his friends the note. I was a little suspicious, but I figured WTF, I was gonna take this young man home and have my way with him, even though I didn’t have gas money to get him back there and he was broke too.

On the long trip back to my place, we talked and I sifted though the bullshit he was trying to feed me and found out he was only 20, and that he could have stayed there, but wanted to come home with me. I knew I was a pervert, but I’d always drew the line at drinking age, but not this time, this innocent bad boy was just too fine.

We flirted with each other during that long trip home but finally he started nodding off. I could tell he was exhausted from all the miles of walking he did in on the highway and just watched him sleep. I started feeling really guilty when I watched his pretty face in slumber. Jeez, he looked like my sons’ age then!

I knew my kids would really like this guy too, he sort of like a younger version of my last boyfriend, and into video games like they are too. I wasn’t sure how long he’d be staying, so that compatibility was a plus in his favor. Arriving after dark, my sons were looking at me like “Who is this guy?” as I introduced TJ to them, and told them “Long story, don’t ask” to their questions.

TJ saw they were playing video games and I asked my youngest to make TJ a sandwich while I twisted one up in the bedroom. When my kids found out he was into gaming, they took to him like a dog after a bone. They just had to explain what game they were playing and show him how to play, young guy type stuff, lol.

I called TJ into the bedroom to smoke the long awaited joint and finally relax after a long day. I poured us some of my watermelon wine (powerful stuff), sipped and puffed away. I knew I was smelly and sweaty from the lengthy hot day, and knew he was too, so we decided on taking a bath in my huge tub.

I ran the water, lit a couple of candles and moved the wine glasses next to the tub . . .