Pssst! Wanna know a secret? (part 2) . . . Entry for January 26, 2007

Where was I before time so rudely interrupted? That’s right, I was on my knees again, sucking Lars’ cock in front of the couch. I had my long raven pulled back from my face so the strands wouldn’t interfere with my blow job (I hate when that happens, lol). As I nibbled and licked and looked up into his appreciative eyes, my mouth started moaning around the cock penetrating my face.

I love it when a man enjoys watching his cock slide in and out of my mouth. It’s so erotic, when our eyes connect, and I watch the pleasure his face. I makes my panties wet, if I’m wearing any, lol. Also the thrill (I must honestly admit) that we were doing something wrong in the living room where he spends time with his wife and the risk of being caught was making my pussy pulse.

He his travelling hands stroked my back on their trek down to their final destination, my ass. He seems to really love my soft, round bubble butt a lot! His cock was getting harder and harder by the second, filling my mouth and aiming for the back of my throat, trying not to gag. I stopped stroking his cock and reached down with my trembling right hand and started playing with my pussy, never missing a lick.

My God I was soaked! I know this sounds weird, but I suspect pussy juices emit potent pheromones (maybe it’s my bush, or just my love of all pussy in general). And I’ve also been told (I know this sounds conceited, but just I’m just stating facts) that my pussy is pretty tasty. So I fingered my self and got my digits all wet and creamy, removed my hand and raised it to his mouth for a taste, where he licked my cream off his fingers.

Funny thing happened then, it dawned on me at that point that Lars had never eaten my pussy, though he’d been all up in it with my dildo and vibe. He thoroughly enjoyed making me cum all those times, but I started wondering what was up with the no oral sex for me thing? But I quickly put that mood killing thought out of my mind and just concentrated enjoying the moment.

As soon as I started gagging on his cock, I couldn’t wait; I had to have him inside my dripping wet pussy.
I raised up off my knees and turned around, putting my pussy and phat ass right in his face, letting him have a good look. “Mmmmm . . .” he said kissing both cheeks as I spit on my fingers and unnecessarily wet my swollen, pink pussy lips even more.

I scooted back, grabbed an ass cheek in each hand while his fist held his cock tightly upright, and slowly I lowered my body down, savoring ever inch along the way, pulsing my pussy muscles tight on his hardon. I guess another thing I’m vain about is my outstanding pussy muscle control, lol.

I can squeeze real tight, or try to push him out while shoving myself down on his dick harder. I can fuck a guy and not have to move up or down at all. More chicks should learn this trick, it drives men fucking nuts! (My hot sex tip for the month, lol). I sat there on his lap, internally fucking his stiff cock, and then started gyrating my hips with him still deep inside me.

I had good training in moving my hips seductively as a lap dancer back in the 80’s the Mitchell Brother’s O’Farrell St, Theatre in San Francisco (of “Deep Throat” and Linda Lovelace fame). It was something similar to fucking thorough clothes, for about a dollar per 30 seconds or so, but that’s another story for another day, lol.

I then leaned forward, reached behind me and grabbed an ass cheek in each hand, and spread them apart, giving him excellent view of his cock fucking me from behind, lol. I wish I could watch a man fuck me from his point of view, but I don’t have a video cam anymore, I suspect that he wanted to fuck me in the ass, but that’s only something I do when I’m in love, so I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Instead I reached behind me and stuck my finger in my own ass, (hell yea it feels good!) and got really turned on feeling his cock fuck my pussy through that thin wall that separates both holes. He started pumping my pussy faster, when I took the other hand and started rubbing my clit and the top of his dick while we fucked. I could feel my pussy squirt as I moaned loudly and started orgasming.

Sliding my pussy down on his cock as far as it would go, I ground Lars’ dick in to my g-spot while squeezing my muscles tightly on the shaft and came even more. I leaned backward and placed his hands on my tits under my thermal shirt, while I bounced away on my firm, fleshy chair. Leaning forward I fucked him just faster when he gasped “If you don’t stop I’m gonna cum!”

Well that statement just sent me over the edge and I could feel my cum dripping down onto the balls that were lightly slapping into my clit. I came hard again leaned back, gasping “Go for it Dude!” and squeezed and pulsed my pussy as tight and fast as it would go, which just made me orgasm even more and finally set him off.

I felt him start to tense and shake and soon my already wet pussy started filling up as he kissed and moaned into my ear. I didn’t want to stop, and every time I twitched my pussy tighter, I felt him spasm again inside me . I sat there in his lap with his arms around me for a few minutes while our passion subsided, but then reality kicked in and I got up to clean myself in his bathroom.

He offered me a towel and a shower and I asked him “Dude! Are you crazy? We can’t afford for me to get caught in your shower over here!” He laughed and smiled, thanking me “You’re so right!” I could tell he appreciated my thoughtfulness, but there was no way I was going to take a chance getting caught in a compromising position over his house. I try to live a major drama free life (yea right, like that shows, lol).

I quickly put my pants back on, and went into his bathroom where he was taking a quick rinse to wash me off of him. I opened the shower door and he turned towards me and I watched the water rain down all over his body. I grabbed him by the hips and drew his dick into my mouth again, gently sucking, and licking and tasting every inch of his semi.

It was a turn on, squatting down with drops of water intermittently dripping down my face and making my hair damp and cling to my head, while he moaned in pleasure. I got up so he could dry off and we went back in the kitchen and talked about his home life some more. My heart went out to him, because I don’t like to see anyone unhappy, and we hugged, kissed and held each other off and on during our conversation.

By this time it was after noon, and I reluctantly had to drag myself away. He didn’t seem to want me to go either, but told me to call him the next day first thing in the morning and we’d try to hook up again. I was ecstatic! That sex session had barely whetted my, er, rather large sexual appetite and I wanted some more.

So with plans made for the next day, and I went next door to my friend’s house on a flimsy (but plausible) excuse to see how she was doing. OK, OK, and also to check if my car had been seen next door. She was in the middle of a serious financial crisis and was very upset (understandably). Panic had set in for so we talked and I tried to calm her down and offer some possible solutions.

We talked for a bit and then as I was leaving, she asked me how long I was over at her uncles’ house. I honestly told her, I wasn’t sure cause I was too excited going over there to notice the time, but I didn’t tell her that part. I said we had just talked about him hauling away metal.

Then I quickly changed the subject by going on about how HUGE his 11-month-old Rottweiller was getting. Lars’ dog is so big it can stand in front of his kitchen table and rest his chin on it! It was obvious that I was changing the subject, but she was so upset that I don’t think she noticed.

I was excited about seeing him the next day, but promised myself I wouldn’t get upset if he cancelled. I planned on making him biscuits and gravy for breakfast and surprising him with a morning picnic. The day before he told me that his wife makes only pancakes or Poptarts for breakfast and he hates both, so I decided to do something nice.

Also I wanted to make sure he had enough fuel to go more than one round with me this time this time. I had even went to Wal-Mart and bought a sexy, slinky top/dress that was on clearance with some of my dwindling cash supply (I had 69$ left to last me 2 weeks, I’m wearing it in the picture above). I wanted everything to be perfect because I knew his layoff ends this next Monday and it was probably the last time we’d be able to hook up for a while.

Well, to make a long story short, he never came over, and never answered my phone or text messages. I kicked myself in the ass for being so goddamn stupid . . . again no less! So it’s been days now since I’ve heard from him, and I left him a couple more unanswered generic messages, all very friendly, after all I’m not going to go psycho over this guy.

Sure I was kinda falling in love with him (I freely admit it!) but I’m not one to chase after lost causes. Those crazy, juvenile days of stalking are over for me, though I have done just that in the past. Realistically, it’s just not smart to play in your own back yard with someone else’s toys, that kind of shit can get you killed in Redneckland.

So yesterday I deleted his number off my cell phone and today sent him a final text message. This is what I wrote: “Hi Lars, I can take a hint, your silence says it all. It’s just as well, I was halfway falling in love with you anyways, and that’d be stupid of me. Call me when you’re single again, if you want, otherwise goodbye.” So there you are, my short but sweet (and hopefully last) affair with a married man (you’re right, never say never, lol).

I have no regrets, other than it sure would have been nice to have some steady lovin’ with someone that I felt some close connection to, though I still never could figure out why. But who can rationalize feelings anyway? Sometimes they just happen whether we like them to or not, and it totally sux ass when it’s one sided on your part. Realizing when to give up, now THAT’s the hard part.

Oh well, you live and (hopefully) you learn . . .

Pssst! Wanna know a secret? (part 1) . . . Entry for January 25, 2007

OK, I haven’t been posting EVERYthing that has been going on in my life lately, mostly due to the fact that I’m trying to protect the guilty. By the time you (dear reader, lol) finally read this though, it (probably) won’t matter anymore, or at least I hope it won’t.

Considering my current shitty emotional/mental state, it’s not good for me to keep all of this in. I can’t "publicly" post this right now because the parties involved have told me to keep it on the down low. So I’m gong to at least write it al out and get it out of my system.

I have been having an affair for the last few weeks with "Lars", the married guy who lives next door to my friend down the road. I know, I know, like when I wrote about him the first time (On being stupid . . . Entry for December 17, 2006), I know I’m being stupid, but I don’t care.

I "feel" something with this guy (even though I know better) that I haven’t felt with the other men I’ve been with since my last relationship ended. I don’t even have a clue as to why I’m so physically attracted to him, considering he’s not really my "type" (he’s a little older than me, for one).

He’s a very passionate lover even with the occasional "Mr. ED" problems. I’m attracted to him in so many different ways, but most of all it’s how I feel when I have my arms around him, and he’s holding me tight, it just feels so "right".

I know what you’re thinking, it’s the fact that he’s married and I can’t have him that makes me want him, but you’re wrong. I’ve had my chance with JD (remember him? he’s married too), and I don’t want him because he’s married. Well that and I’m not attracted to him in the least like I am Lars.

Remember too, about my conviction concerning not letting a married man penetrate me? I threw that rule straight out the window after Lars kissed me for the first time. I don’t know why, but I wanted him that first time really, really bad.

The next time we got together, he had hiked a half a mile through the woods to come see me at my trailer. He left his truck in his own driveway so no one would see it at my place and say something. He asked my not to say anything to my friend about us seeing each other and I agreed. The last thing I want is for him to get in trouble.

That time he came over was really fucking hot! We sat in the living room and got stoned, listening to Nine Inch Nails sing "Closer" ("I want to fuck you like an animal . . ."). I was already barely dressed, wearing only a scarf around my hips in an accentuating form of modesty, lol.

It wasn’t long before I had his pants off and was making love to him with my mouth. Of course it didn’t stop there and we spent the whole morning (3 hrs) making love in my bed. Sex with Lars is so . . . it’s hard to describe. I guess you would say sensual and erotic, but very, very comfortable as well. Which is surprising, because we haven’t known each other all that long to have achieved that level of comfort.

I’m not inhibited whatsoever, so ever since we first started having sex, I’ve always included my toys. He seems to enjoy the hell out of watching my pussy squirt and throb, and I love watching his face while he does it (grin). His wife (long story there) is this little bitty skinny thing, but he really seems to enjoy every inch of my warm, soft, plush body too.

He loves watching my face (whether his cock is in my mouth or not, hehehe) and is constantly telling me how beautiful I am (who doesn’t like to hear that, lol?). And it’s not just the physical compatibility, comfort and attentiveness that is such an attraction, I really like him as a friend and person.

I honestly did try staying away from him, but when I saw his truck drive down the road Sunday, I couldn’t resist and I called his cell phone. I asked him if he still collected scrap metal for recycling, cause I have an old metal futon that needs carting off. It was a lame excuse, I know, but plausible, lol.

He told me he did, and to give him a call this morning, which I did first thing. At first his phone was off so I left a voice message. About an hour later I tried again, but this time I text messaged him saying he could pick up the metal anytime and I hoped he had a good day.

I was disappointed once again, told myself I was being stupid and anyways what the hell did I expect? Not long after my text message he called me though, and my ignorant little heart skipped a beat. He wanted to see me, he said, but there was some major drama going on with his 16-year-old stepdaughter at school.

He promised to call me after taking a shower and finding out whether or not his wife and/or Mother in law would be coming home early. Mentally I prepared myself for the let down, but surprisingly he called me back an hour later and said everything was OK. He said he had just finished rolling a blunt and if I wanted to, I could come over and smoke it with him.

I was a little bit nervous about going over there (naturally), but figured fuck it, if he doesn’t care, than why should I? Every time we’ve gotten together I’ve made coffee for us, and it’s been nice to share a cup with who appreciates it for a change. So now "having coffee" has taken on new meaning

I parked behind his pickup and went inside. I knew my friend next door would probably see my car and ask questions. So Lars told me if anyone asked, I was just over there asking about him picking up some scrap metal in my yard. I don’t like lying to anyone, but I’ll respect someone’s wishes, as long as it’s within reason.

I brought the coffee in the kitchen, set it down and hugged him hard, breathing in his masculine scent. Mmmm, he felt so good (so right) in my arms. I softly kissed his face and confessed that I had missed him and had tried staying away, but it was no good. I wanted him too much. Like I said, I know I was being stupid.

We went into the living room and smoked the blunt and soon got to talking. I came right out and asked him why the hell he married a woman that he has to hide his true self from (he can’t get high around her, etc.) and is now so unhappy with, after less than a year being married.

He explained that they’ve known each other more than 15 years (she was his best friend’s wife at one time) and when they were dating, things were OK. But once they got married, she changed, apparently, and not for the better. I decided I didn’t really care why, I was just glad he wasn’t happy and wanted to share some of his time with me.

Stretching out on the couch, I laid my head in his lap and watched him while the told the tale, but couldn’t concentrate. I wanted to kiss those lips, not watch them talk. So I did just that, ending any serious conversation we might have had at that point, lol. After a few minutes of making out, he got up go to take a piss, but I had other plans.

I got up too, and dropped to my knees in front of him. I wanted to feel his cock throb in my mouth, hehehe. That had it’s desired effect, as I opened my eyes and looked up into his. I tasted him thoroughly, and watched erotic expressions flit across his face. Damn my panties were wet!

"Mmmm, you better go take a piss" I laughed, taking his cock out of my mouth. I had to stop before his dick got so hard it would be aiming at the ceiling, lmao! While he was gone, I took off the dark green velour pants (and pink panties) I had on, so now all I was wearing was a long sleeved mans thermal underwear shirt.

He’s got a small aquarium in his living room, and I bent over to check out the fish. Yea, I knew I was posing there with my big, round, naked ass sticking all out, and hard nipples poking thru my shirt, but it did have the desired effect. He walked back into the living room with an "Oh my God . . ."

He stood behind me, dropped his shorts and stroked my ass with his cock as I sensuously rubbed up against him. We played like that for a while, kissing and touching each other, then cam up for air and sat back down and finished smoking the blunt. I was pretty stoned by then and purring like a kitten as he stoked me with his hands.

Hmmm, this post is a lot longer than I anticipated, I’ll finish it tomorrow . . .